It’s not you, it’s my stomach ™

A lot of my days lately have been filled with chasing the sun, craving sugar and taking care of sicklings. Chasing the sun because it’s the rainy season, and it has been especially rainy this year in Nicaragua….most likely related to the hurricane that was just in Mexico. We are washing all our laundry by hand, and there’s so much moisture in the air that things mold incredibly fast. I have 3 bras with me for 3 months, and I’m sorry to say, one has succumbed to the mold. I’ve tried soaking it in bleach, and leaving it in the sun to kill the bacteria, but the mold still be livin’! I’ll probably still wear it and hope against any kind of weird side effect other than gross out. That being said, there is at least some sun every day, though it’s strongest in the morning. There’s always some kind of monsoon, usually in the afternoon. I’ve also been walking up the mountain that aligns with the larger town down in the valley to make the occasional phone call or slowly use the internet.

Because I have gastritis, which is the precursor to an ulcer, my diet has been a lot more limited and I hope cleaner. No coffee (which is sad because it’s so good and organic here), no milk (i can't digest it, though cheese doesn’t seem to bother me), and already no gluten. Most of our meals are vegetarian or vegan, depending on what the community has to offer. The eggs we eat come from the chickens in town, along with the beans, cheese, coffee and corn for the tortillas. This is usually all accompanied by a fruit batido (smoothie). The woman who does most of the cooking in the house told me she prefers to be poor in the country, because you can still live independently and not have to rely on buying everything in the city.

The man in my host family works at a cooperative located in the larger town, where the grow sesame and process their own sesame oil. So we’ve also had tahini, honey, and sesame oil from town. Today, we visited the cooperative, and also bought wine made from hibiscus flowers (though I’ve been avoiding alcohol and drinking lots of water and tea), and sesame sweets that have sugar, milk (cooked) and cinnamon. They are deliciosos! Sesame oil is the 2^nd healthiest oil for you, behind olive oil. The cooperative also sells their sesame to The Body Shop and L’Oreal for a fair trade price, which makes me think a lot more highly of those companies. The coffee in the community is sold to a small company called Dean’s Beans in the US, which has chosen to not take part in Fair Trade USA, because the CEO of FTUSA has significantly lowered the standards to become fair trade certified out of preference for increased company growth. FTUSA has also parted ways with Fair Trade International, and certify companies as “fair trade” that are as little as 2% fair trade based.

In terms of animals, living in such close proximity to cows has made me realize how beautiful they are, and I’m less and less inclined to eat red meat. Most people buy meat from the larger town on Wednesdays when a man comes up to sell it, and inevitably all the dogs eat the scraps and fart all day. That’s how you know for sure it’s meat day. I’m also pretty turned off by pork ever since a student got sick and I saw a pig eat the puke. They literally will eat anything, which I guess is good because there’s so much crap in the world. We had chicken today in the town and I swallowed a bone, and ate a banana to “wrap around” the bone traveling down my gut. There are 2 orphaned chickens in our house also because our cat killed the mama.

I’m probably focusing on food because lately I’ve felt a bit lonely and isolated, but I think that there is always something to be learned from every experience, and it’s been a learning experience for sure living a more rural lifestyle. I miss family and friends, but I love speaking Spanish, having time to read (and an actual legit bilingual community library, which is the best I’ve seen in country). I also feel like I’ve learned a lot from how much people value family relationships. It’s very touching to watch the family I’ve been staying with help their son with his homework each night. This is all the more special since the host father in charge of the cooperative learned to read thanks to volunteers from Cuba who came into rural areas after the Sandinista revolution. Education is really highly valued here, and the US government has a lot to learn...especially now. Amor a todos!

Mushrooms and rainstorms

It’s preparing to be a stormy afternoon at El Lagartillo, a small rural community of 27 families about 1.5 hours outside of Esteli. There is a kitten playing with a mama cat (otherwise known as Bambi), next to a little girl (Catarina) playing cards with her mom. The houses here are made of brick and surrounded by small jungles of green, banana trees, birds of paradise and bright pink bougainvillea. Almost everyone has chickens, dogs, cats, and if there is money or need for it, a cow or a horse. The chickens and dogs roam freely during the day, but always come back to their home at night. When it rains, the dirt paths flood into small rivers, and it becomes almost too loud to talk.

Back in December 1984 (while my mom was pregnant with me), this peaceful community was attacked by 200 Contra soldiers with arms directly provided by the US government. The community itself had only 14 weapons, and 2 young boys (both 14 years old) and 4 adults stayed behind to protect the rest of the families while the fled into hiding. Although this happened nearly 30 years ago, it is still very fresh in people’s minds, and they describe it as a wound that never fully heals. Only yesterday, I charged my phone in an elderly woman's house whose daughter and husband were killed in this attack. It’s strange to think about this community being deemed a threat, when people here are farmers, and at that time there wasn’t even electricity. Today, you have to climb a small hill called El Punto to get cell phone service or connect to the internet with a usb stick. One of the Spanish teachers for foreigners visiting the community told our group yesterday how heartbroken she was when a former student a few years ago said their favorite US president was Ronald Reagan, who signed off on so much conflict and death.

Despite this history, the community is incredibly warm and welcoming. There is a great bilingual library, movie nights, dance parties and a smoothie stand. During the 3 day backpacking trip to the community, we stopped over at a place called Finca Calamina, where a man named Esteban whose married to a french woman, lives in the mountains and grows coffee. His coffee is wild, so he doesn't need to maintain it; just collect it. We also collected chantrelle mushrooms along the way and he made us really amazing pizza in his clay, wood burning oven (mine was on a tortilla). 

It's been a little bit challenging to be so isolated. When it downpours, there is no way to get to El Punto and everything is always a little bit damp, in general. Drying clothes is a true challenge. A virus also ran through the group, which I got too...but mostly in the form of painful gastritis. Apparently, taking lots of antibiotics and anti-parasitics, which I have during my time here, can really tear your gut apart. I'm in Esteli now because it was painful to eat (caused by the gastritis), and also discovered I'm anemic (which can be related to gastritis too). So now I'm taking a little cocktail of pills to help me digest things and B12 vitamins, and it's amazing how much it all helps. We have a few more weeks in this community then on to San Marcos, south of the capital, to meet with a group that helps youth get out of the largest dump in Central America (La Chureca). Looking forward to being in the same country as you all in December and missing you of course!

Love & Other Drugs

Well folks here I am again, back in Nicaragua after a whopping 72 hours at home in those United States. It was a glorious return. Huzzah! Except….. I had an incredibly painful migraine, and had my first experience visiting the ER with no insurance. Yes, they wanted to charge me exactly $500 just for this 20 minute visit, which will also be accompanied by a separate bill from the doctor. I gave them $100, because that is outrageous and will figure out the rest later. In Nicaragua, there is no medicine like imatrex (at least that I’ve found), but at least I can see a doctor for free if needed! Yikes. Thankfully, the doctor was really wonderful and found me the cheapest/most effective medicine to treat migraines. There’s a man after my own heart. It was really wonderful to see my parents and be back in California, visit a giant book store, and eat pesto. Still, I missed seeing friends, the time was so short, and this question of finding balance is definitely looming in my head.

That brings us to the present. Today is September 7, 2013. I am in a cabin in the woods in northern Nicaragua and it is pouring down rain on the green tin roof. One of my favorite people in the whole big mundo was married today. She is now an honest woman as they said in the old west. I think they did, at least. Naturally, this has got me thinking a lot about relationships and togetherness. Although I’m so thankful for a job, and to be exploring the world, there is a certain level of pain in missing out on these significant life moments in the lives of friends and family. That’s really just what it is: painful. Luckily, this said friend and others have been very understanding and kind and have said such sweet things as 1 day does not equal 1 friendship, BUT, I still feel bad and just sad to be left out of something that is so worthy of a celebration.

Unfortunately, the relationship I’ve been in here in Nicaragua has ended after a lot of ups and downs, and that, too….is just sad. I definitely loved this person and still love this person, but unfortunately, sometimes that’s not enough, as cliché as it may sound. And man is it depressing. Let me tell you when they say love conquers all… make sure you ask a lot of questions. It’s a bit more complicated than that. For example, as I have recently found, you might fully love someone (not by choice but just by fate or by circumstance depending on your view) and start picturing a life with them, mostly because they are picturing it too, and mention things like wanting to marry you, or have a baby with you, and it turns out to all be crap. Craptacular! Boo. Of course, I’m using humor to mask my sadness, and there are certainly worse lots in life, but it still feels like nurturing a sweet puppy all day and then having it vomit and poop in your room seemingly on purpose (I mean the hallway is just outside).

I don’t really know where I’m going with this, but basically, in spite of recent heart break, I’ve realized that in the midst of traveling, instead of denouncing love and it’s importance, I feel more than ever that relationships, friendships….all the ships, really… are the most important thing worth nurturing in life.  And while it is truly miserable when it doesn’t work out, I’m glad that I at least opened myself up to the possibility of love, even if it means having to watch it slip away. So to everyone seeing this out there, I wish you a lot of love, and the courage to take the risk to go find it, even if it’s finding a love and appreciation for yourself for the first time. Stay tuned.  

Nica update: work and more work

Hello all. Apologies I've been bad about writing. Things have been so busy with work that when I have free time I mostly sleep! Unfortunately I also picked up a nasty bacteria, so I was in the clinic for hours today and just started antibiotics. At first the doc was worried I had appendicitis, and all that I could think of was that I'd have to stay abroad for the operation because medical treatment is so expensive in the U.S..

Sometimes, just when I start feeling comfortable here, I'm reminded of how different it is. The other day while I was in Managua, the only close place to eat was this fast food chicken restaurant. I don't like eating meat like that, from places where animals are basically manufactured, but there was no other choice and unfortunately my food allergies ruled out other alternatives. Anyways, this place was bumpin', and there was a man preaching with a whole audience. I felt so out of place and entertained by something that seemed common place.

I wrote a whole other post that got erased, about socialism here and how different it feels from Cuba. There have been all these protests going on here because of the reduction in pensions, and to me, socialism should prioritize social programs, not limit them. Cuba definitely has a lot of struggles from limited salaries, but not once in Havana did I see someone begging on the street or hear about people living out of a dump. Francisa, one of the community leaders at the dump, told me that the government makes promises every year around election time to improve people's lives, and they never follow through.

Thank God for moments of happiness and generosity, because without these it would just be too sad to think about all the unjust living conditions in the world.

Anyways...other than this, I'm just keeping on keeping on. Like a lot of people, I'm trying to figure out my next steps along the way. 

To end on funnier notes, the other week I took a bucket shower in the patio with a country crock butter bucket. I heated the water on the stove so it felt real fancy. The other thing was that I went to a restaurant that sold anti diarrheal meds and alka seltzer. Pretty smart thinkin'!

  

The rainy season is going on', so now it's time to fall asleep to the rain.

Take care todos!

Snapshots of Esteli

    A glance at how my name is spelled:

    Hammock in the house:

    Mountains to the south:

    Chicken exploring a house on a farm:

    Painting a school library:

Snapshots of Leon

Christopher Keith Hall

Hello.

I've avoided writing lately as unfortunately, after a long battle with cancer, my uncle passed away. There are always too many things to write about the life of one person and the place they held in the course of your life. So because of that, I will simply say that all too often it seems we are reminded of life's brevity after the fact.

I'm constantly scavenging here for good books or interesting articles (in the flesh!), which I know my uncle would have been proud of. I found this quote in my scavenges at a hotel in Leon:

Late Fragment (Raymond Carver)
"And did you get what
you wanted from this life, even so?
I did.
And what did you want?
To call myself beloved, to feel myself
beloved on the earth."

To read more about CKH: http://www.guardian.co.uk/world/2013/jun/05/christopher-keith-hall
There is always the list of achievements (or in the case of others..events of interest), included in the memory of someone's life. But for me, my favorite things about my uncle are the tiny little stories he shared, his love for nonsense (especially in the form of old children's books), and his passion for preserving history. His history will be preserved with me.

Sending love and gratitude.

W

Nica Update: strange brews, dog walks, & l-i-v-i-n-g!

 I started writing this over a week ago while I was sipping my witch´s brew of 8 lemon leaves, lemon juice, hot water, ginger and cinnamon sticks. It was all boiled together in a pot that resembles a tiny cauldron, and my 10 year old self was very excited about this. I had a head cold that was going around Estelí. I was walking by my neighbors´s house who makes tamales (we are taking our students there for cooking classes), and he immediately offered up this lemon tea remedy. I'm really enjoying the neighborly camaraderie here at least where I'm living. This same tamale guy used to live in CA (like half the Nicans here) and worked for a bunch of pizza places. He's had 3 heart attacks and I can't help thinking there may be some correlation there. 

Life as late has been a lot of work, but I've been taking care of a little dog Chele quite a bit, and he's really to thank for the neighborhood meet and greets and sense of community I have down here. Every afternoon walk for him is a new adventure of escape from his captivity in the back patio, and he's just so darn excited to walk the same route. We pass by Luz, who sells chocobananos, and Chele visits her similarly amber colored dog Muneco (Spanish for "doll"). He's an old-timer but he patiently tolerates Chele's hyperactivity. We pass by the park, and the crabby security guard says I can't walk my dog there (it's a sidewalk, hombre) and happily carry on. Occasionally, Chele walks himself and carries his leash in his mouth, or races after the Eskimo ice cream man. My neighbor Luis, who looks like Super Mario, flirts a bit and inquires after my day. He is both a dentist and a futbol commentator, and occasionally I see him flying around town in his red jeep.

My 28th birthday was on Monday, and I got this ditty in my head that "I'm 28 and feelin' great!", which I actually kind of am. Maybe I'm just exhausted and delirious, but I feel thankful for the gifts I've been given so far, and the chance I've had to overcome obstacles. My mom got married at 28, so I've always looked at it is a big age, but you know what? I'm doing a-okay! And I hope you are too.

Though things started a bit rough here, and I felt I quite possibly had entered the true portal to hell, things be jammin' now. That is Bob Marley for everything is much better. I've tried on many different sombreros here, and the latest is motorcycle chica. My new work partner (who is great), has a moto he takes around town, and though I was originally terrified at the prospect of this mode of transportation, it's made running errands about 100 times more fun (sorry, Dad). We had to go up into the Tisey nature reserve outside of town this week, which is becoming more green with each day, and it was pretty liberating to zip around and not have to ride in the back of some farmer's truck. God bless their patience, because the last farmers who I asked concerned questions to about their "pregnant cows" politely told me they were bulls. One of my favorite things in Esteli is the small (organic) farmers' market in town every Friday morning, which lines the north side of Parque Central and sits east of the cathedral. It's a lovely little place with fresh flowers, coffee, pupusas, and plenty of veggies. There's also a goat cheese master chef, but she has sadly been out of town for the past month. 

Thankfully, I've had some great outdoor adventures recently, and I also just feel like I'm taking the time to enjoy life a little more. Even though I was robbed again a week ago, getting off the bus to visit a friend (cash, my keys and earrings were taken), I'm trying to embrace the positive moments, and let go of unhappy events. Over the past few weeks, I've floated and hiked  along the Coco River through Somoto Canyon and went rappelling off of a waterfall outside of Esteli. Right now, I'm in Leon on the coast for a week, and it's a beautiful city with Spanish colonial architecture, and a lot of restaurants and culture in general. It's amazing how your perspective can change in such a short time. When I first got here, most of what I noticed was negative, but being back a few months later, there's so much to enjoy (i.e. salsa dancing with friends).

There are 1,000 little details in the day that can make such a difference in how that time is spent within one place, as an active observer of the world. Whether it's just the colors of buildings (both vibrant and aging), or the man on my corner who walks like James Brown, I'm happy I'm able to stop and look around.

A New Year

Hey-oh! I went on a very long hiatus as I was not laughing much at my job situation, taking it all a bit too seriously. My mom reminded me that no matter the situation, there's always something you can learn from where you are. And it's very much true. So thanks be to perspective!

As it turns out, there are some humorous things! Some a little disturbing; so prepare yourself emotionally.

---Catering for the one percent is on hiatus, which is truly glorious for more reasons than I can describe. I do not miss being on a radio frantically ordering chocolate ice cream with the urgency of a military officer preparing for enemy combat while fire alarms abound, dodging around contortionists as they circle around business men and people step all over my feet.

---I've seen lately more up-close the effects of heroin and meth, and though heroin definitely affects the brain and the body, meth is by FAR the most frightening to witness. From observation, it makes people VERY irritable and irrational, which makes it very hard to predict their behavior or reactions. So reader (all 3 of you), I hope you never do meth. Something really needs to be done about the drug infestation in San Francisco because it makes certain areas and people very scary....and sad....and extremely smelly. But none of this is new/groundbreaking information.

--Let's see...I had money taken from me at work while I was in the bathroom (things were "safely" stored away I thought), which has only ever happened before to me once in Africa by a kid who used to live off the street. So I feel like he has a more valid excuse. I have worked in the US in some pretty crappy buildings and neighborhoods, with all sorts of questionable characters, but this was the first time something like this has happened. Although it irked me and was idiotic of the one person it could have been (and was), it could have been much worse.

--A giant shipment of penises came in the office. Boxes and boxes and boxes of penises. They are multi-colored and come with accessories. Is this what christmas is like at kink.com? (which is not where i am...). All day it was: the penises are coming! Expect penises! What could be holding up all those penises? 'Nuff said. 

Penis on Line 1!

--The building I'm in has a broken boiler so everyone has been wearing snow hats and down jackets and layers and layers, and most days somehow it's actually COLDER inside than out. Riddle me that. There are so many space heaters that the power constantly goes out. Someone said today: "it's like we work in a third world country!" and even though "third world" is an odd and often-times degrading term, I found this comment hilarious because it's TRUE. The power does constantly go out...and all the phones are set to 1996.

(As a final addendum...people have been calling all week thinking the office is animal control. I was confused when i heard the first story about a sick cat named Betsy, as in why the hell is someone telling me this (?), but by the third time i figured it out. There's hope yet).

bon weekend!