Nicalove

Well, I’m writing to you from bed because incredibly I have a head cold again! It’s been spreading around school and came back to me even though I had it 3 weeks ago. It’s a lot better this time around but I still feel weak and keep losing my voice. I guess it’s just the climate here that makes it really easy to be sick, but it could be worse.

2 weeks ago now I went to Nicaragua for a friend’s wedding. I was really excited to be going on vacation and be going back to Nicaragua, where everything feels much more familiar than here. I do like it here for the most part, but Nicaragua is just an entirely different feeling. I feel like I went through a lot of shit in Nica (and a lot of great things), and survived, and still love the country even more. Costa Rican culture is a lot quieter. Nicaraguans are always out on the street selling things from 6am onward (avocado, the newspaper, shoes, fruit and even rat poison), and I kind of miss that atmosphere that’s similar to Mexico. It’s nice to be in a small, quieter town but it’s also really nice to escape it. 

I didn’t really realize how much I miss Nicaragua until I crossed the border, and everything came rushing back. I traveled there with Ticabus which was about $33 one way. It’s a comfy bus that also plays movies, which gave me a flashback to living in Tanzania and taking the bus to Dar Es Salaam while a guy handed out cold Cokes and we watched the Gods Must be Crazy. I miss that country too, and one of my old students who had asked me to adopt him keeps asking me on Facebook when I’m coming back. I’ve told him that the flight is really difficult for me to afford and that I live in Costa Rica now, and he’s just confused by it all. That’s another topic that I could talk about a while, but I’m going to choose not too because it’s too sad… Anyways, because I live on a mountain, I had to take a 2 hours bus to a stop on the side of the road where I would pick up the bus. A german woman and a spanish man were also going to Nicaragua, so we waited together. It took me 4 tries to buy my Ticabus ticket because the guy in the office was never there or just leaving when I would get off work, so it was an accomplishment even buying the ticket. From that stop on the road it’s about 3 or so hours to the border, crossing at a place called Penas Blancas. There’s a lot of money changers on both sides of the border and you have to pay exit and entry fees for both countries. The border is small and I read in some guide book that it’s similar to the Mexico/US relationship. Not at all true and complete BS if I do say so myself. There are a lot of Nicans who come over to CR and work in the coffee and banana plantations, and basically do jobs that CRs don’t— so in that way it’s similar, but the border is small and much calmer. From Tijuana, in a car you sometimes have to wait 8 hours or more to cross into the US, and people swarm you selling things. At the CR/Nica border, after you pay the fees and show your passport you basically just walk to the other side. The bus gets sprayed with some insecticide type stuff and you wait for the bus drivers to bring your passports back. All in all it took about 2 hours which wasn’t bad. It is very hot, so there are people selling drinks and food. I bought some gallo pinto and was a little worried I would be sick, but it was great and I felt fine.

From there, it was about 4 hours or so to Managua (the capital of Nicaragua), and the Ticabus drops people off along the way- but only a few stops. As we headed toward the capital we passed the beautiful Lake Nicaragua and the volcano jutting out of it. It’s sort of unbelievable that they are building a canal there (backed by the World Bank and Chinese funders), in a place that feels sacred. I think there’s a general consensus that it will be devastating for the environment, but in many places business trumps environment. I still wish it wasn’t happening.

Once I got to Managua, I took a 2 hour bus to Matagalpa. By this time it was dusk and the traffic in Managua was packed. I just made it to the bus with another couple (Nican) who had also been on Ticabus, even though the taxi driver was trying to pressure us to pay him $80 to go straight to Mata. I’m sure this sounds like a very exhausting day, but it really wasn’t that bad and it was incredibly worth it. Once I got to Matagalpa, my favorite person in Nicaragua (Javier, my co-worker from last year), was waiting for me with his brother-in-law. It was about 8:30 by then and Javier and his whole family had waited for me to go out to dinner together. I definitely did not expect that and it was the sweetest thing. 

I have never encountered so much generosity in so few days, and I’m still so touched to think about it. Javier’s mom was constantly trying to feed me, whether it was coffee or potatoes and rice. The next morning, she made me breakfast, Javier went to work, and I walked around town. It was really exciting to be in a (small) city, where there’s a lot going on. Costa Rica is stupidly expensive, so I went second-hand clothes shopping in Matagalpa and bought a bunch of movies to bring back. Javier picked me up for lunch on his moto and we went to a soup restaurant with his sister that had just run out of soup (ha!) so we had tacos and a few other things. For dinner, I went out with him and his parents to another restaurant that had snack type things and was really good. I definitely expected to pay for food, and I didn’t pay for a single meal the whole time I was visiting him. I was really surprised by this, but more so than that, he and his family are just the kindest people ever. He’s really close to his parents and his sisters, and they spend a lot of time just chatting over coffee at the house. His dad is a pastor, and while I’m not that religious, they were just so welcoming. Before I left for Estelí the next morning, his mom said a prayer for me, and that also felt really touching. She told me that I always have a family in Matagalpa when I come back, and these are all things people just don’t have to do, but by doing them I just felt like my heart was full with so much love. I bought them a big cake because I wanted to do something (other than bringing coffee from CR) and they ate it for breakfast the morning I left, which was kind of funny. The night before, Javier and I talked for a while sitting outside the cathedral, and he showed me a small plot of land he bought that he wants to build a house on some day. I love spending time with him and it all just reinforced that he’s a very special person in my life, and I really miss him.  It was really hard for me to say goodbye and it’s still something I’m struggling with, because I just don’t have a relationship like that here and I know that that’s rare. We struggled working together at first and I wasn’t the nicest person to him which wasn’t fair to him, but then we just had a really great time together. When your job is all day (16+ hours) every day intensively for 3 months, it just forces you to get to know someone really well and trust that things will work out.

Estelí has changed a lot in 1 year. The farmer’s market is still there which was one of my favorite things, but there’s a new mall with a movie theatre, a few new restaurants and a fancy hotel. I stay at the hostel where Javier and I hosted students last year, and again, incredibly generosity. They gave me my stay for free and told me that whenever I’m Estelí I have a family and won’t pay. I was really surprised by that because most people are living on tight finances in Nica, and it again is something that they didn’t have to do but chose to. 

The wedding itself was the most romantic I’ve ever been to. That day, all the ladies including me got our hair done and pedicures starting at 7:30 am. It was fun and festive. At around 2pm it started to downpour and didn’t stop until 7pm. My friend Lauryn, who was getting married to her boyfriend Pedro, actually got stuck in her hotel for more than an hour because it flooded outside. The wedding was supposed to be all outside on Pedro’s family’s ranch, so we had to make a makeshift wedding in the house. I found some lights in the guest bedroom and we put those up above the window, then put a few flowers around. There was a local guy playing acoustic guitar as she walked down the candle-lit aisle (which was beautiful), and everyone was kind of crammed into one room. Some guests didn’t show for the wedding, but it was actually kind of nice that it was so small and intimate and the people that really wanted to be there, were there. I’m not really that into weddings, but I cried at this one. Lauryn is 9 months pregnant with a baby boy they’ve named Noah. It was really special to witness the whole thing and hear their vows. Lauryn’s dad cannot speak Spanish (he tries!), but he had his speech translated and went for it anyways. After the rain stopped, the bugs came out in force and her dad (funny guy) was trying to smoke them away with cigars. This did not work, but was very amusing to watch. A few of us went outside and danced under the lights that had been set up in their trees when the rain died down.

I left a 3am the next morning, and the whole trip made me the happiest I’ve been in a long time.  Costa Ricans can say all the crap they want about Nicaraguans, but if I had to choose my favorite place, it would be Nicaragua all the way.

A belated blogging: Cabin Fever

Hello there! I have a lot to update everyone on (including a wonderful trip to Nicaragua- one of the best whirlwind trips/vacations I've had in a long time- and a beautiful horseback ride to warm springs here in Monteverde). I wrote the below blog entry 3 weeks ago, and didn’t get a chance to post it due to wonky internet (literally stops working at least 10 times a day daily at work) & a crazy schedule (I am basically the Manager AND the Program Coordinator of my dept). Anyways, thinking of you all always! I wrote this when I was feeling pretty homesick (July & August were pretty hard months adjusting here not just from the US but from the very different culture that is found in Nica that I was expecting here, along with feeling like I didn't really have much of a social support system). Things are definitely getting better now, but as always in life it's multi-layered. Here's the delayed blog from weeks ago:

Well, this past Friday was Mother’s Day in Costa Rica. Here, Mother’s Day is a national holiday which equals a long weekend. I had plans to go to the beach (on the Caribbean side), but sadly I went to the clinic instead (hence the title of this post)! I was sure I had an ear infection because my ears were throbbing, but it turns out that I had/have a respiratory infection instead that came on super quickly. I’m on strong antibiotics....but they are helping a lot! I slept/watched a bunch of movies all weekend and drank tons of tea. Even though I was coughing/weak and felt feverish, there are worse ways to spend the weekend. The doctor I saw said that sinus/respiratory problems are really common here because of the colder, rainy mountain climate, whereas in Nicaragua most of the illness is all stomach related because of food/water. 

Last weekend, I went to the Quaker meeting they have at the Friend’s School in Monteverde every Sunday. Even though Quakers are Christian, they are also very secular-friendly. Basically the meeting is singing songs about love/friendship (very Quaker-y), then sitting in silence for an hour. At the end of the silence, someone reads their “manifesto” for lack of a better word, which basically talks about thinking of other people and not being trapped in our own egotism and being kind, then every one says good morning to each other. I thought it would be hard to do this, but it actually was really enjoyable and way easier than the meditation weekend I did with my mom in Santa Cruz (fun but very challenging with hours and hours of meditation). I’m usually filled with stress at the beginning of a week here but I felt so relaxed the next day, and it was definitely the most unique form of worship I’ve seen. 

That Sunday I also walked to the radio towers on the hill above my house with a friend. It was about 45 minutes uphill, but worth the beautiful view. It was pretty cloudy in most parts, but I’ve been told that on a clear day you can see all the way to Arenal (the volcano that is about 4 hours away driving).

Yesterday, a random Japanese man studying tourism (name: Yosushi....yum!) interviewed me about our volunteer programs at the school. It was the first time I’ve ever been interviewed so I felt pretty fancy. He didn’t speak English so we both spoke in Spanish, which I thought must have looked pretty funny. He was surprised I was younger than he thought on the phone, and I couldn’t tell if that bothered him or just shocked him. At the end he presented me with a fancy pen and paid for my tea. See? Fancy!

I still get lonely here, but I think it’s been really good to have my own space. It’s kind of forced me to be comfortable with my own company and confront what I don’t like about myself or what I would like to change, and made me appreciate the company of other people more. I also like the down time, being so busy at work. Seeing other people here with their families has really made me realize that I would like to have kids and a partner some day, and I’m starting to feel a little more nervous about whether or not this will happen. I’ve never really thought at length about it because that’s never been a huge focus for me (and to be honest when I have thought about it, I’ve thought mainly about all the challenges and tragedies that can happen), but it’s been really refreshing and inspiring to see people move down here with their kids and live so bravely. One of my favorite coworkers here moved here from Chicago with her husband and 3 kids, and I love spending time with them (even though I know they have conflict in their family like everyone does). I always appreciated traveling with my parents when I was younger, and it’s nice to be reminded of the benefits of that close company, especially after being somewhat disturbed about how common adultery is here. Depending on who you talk to, machismo is either alive and well here or doesn’t exist. Usually it’s the men that take the second stance, but I happen to agree most with the first (although it’s not common in everyone). 

We’re pretty isolated up here from everything else going on in the world, which is a gift and also a challenge. Growing up here could be amazingly liberating (with all the space and room to explore) and also really stifling (i.e. wanting to be around more diversity racially, or exposed to more opportunities). I guess with everything there are pros and cons, but I think it takes a very specific type of person to live here long-term, and I’m not really sure I’m that person. I don’t think that’s necessarily a good or bad thing, but it’s just interesting to think about.

I hope everyone is enjoying their summer wherever it may be! I’m including some photos of where I’m living. It’s simple and rustic with no phone/internet/tv and I’m pretty sure there is a creature living on my roof dangerously close to the electrical wire, BUT.... I like it. Lots of love to you all!