First week!

Right now it is raining and I’m sitting on my cozy L-shaped couch in the cabin. I’ve been here in Monteverde for less than a week, but I’m really enjoying it so far. I feel way more relaxed than I have in a long time, and it’s a nice change from being so stressed that I can’t sleep at night. The first few days were a little lonely and overwhelming, especially since my first full day was my birthday. I spent the day at work and the evening walking around town and eating at home. I had planned to Skype with my parents but the internet went out (although I still had power, but it was out through most of town).

The area is made up of different zones/neighborhoods. Where I am is called Cerro Plano (flat hill) and it is very central. I like it for that reason, and it’s really nice to live on my own, although I had a wonderful roommate in Berkley. I lived with people in Nicaragua as well, and throughout my 20s I’ve always had multiple roommates and shared housing situations, but there’s something very gratifying about being on my own and I feel ready to enter a different life stage in that respect. The first few days I felt like I definitely would want roommates, but now I don’t think I do. I most likely can’t stay in this cabin because there is a 2nd bedroom that needs to be filled. The landlady said I can pay half rent until August ($200) and then move if I don’t find someone. I love that I have a porch and a little kitchen and area to relax. The only issues are that it is right on the highway so I start hearing cars around 5:30 or 6, and the front door is a sliding glass door- good in terms of space and feeling but the issue is that the lock doesn’t work. For now, I’ve been keeping my valuables locked at work or in a locked dresser in the bedroom here. The cabin is on a family’s property and they are usually here, but it is just dumb to not have a lock. I keep being told it will be fixed, but I’m starting to lose faith. I am also still very traumatized from the robbery that happened in Nicaragua, and I think it’s a good thing that I’ve finally realized that I’ve been carrying that fear and paranoia with me.

I am about 10 minutes from the school walking uphill. I can also take the school bus which stops 5 minutes away around 7:40 if I want to skip the steep walk. The school’s campus is set on top of a hill and their property extends back in the jungle/forest. There are about 200 students and it goes from pre-school to high school. The teachers are mostly international from the U.S., but half the staff is Costa Rican, so I speak in a mix of Spanish and English. Graduation is happening next week so this past Thursday was something called “Project Share” where each grade level shares something from the semester. I saw the pre-school perform different songs in English and Spanish and it was all very adorable. The school functions on a bilingual 50-50 model.

In general, people have been really friendly, and other staff has made an effort to invite me places or show me around, which I really appreciate. It took a few days for that to happen, but I’m very grateful it did. There are quite a few international couples/families here who are moving on in June (some back to the U.S., and others to Colombia and China). It’s been nice to meet people who are so adventurous in how they view their lives and embrace transitions.

Monteverde is the neighborhood north of Cerro Plano and a little more isolated. There are fancy hotels (one is over $300 a night!) and it is a popular place for foreigners to live because it is near the nature reserves, but I think for now, I’d rather be more central. The area started as a Quaker central 50 some odd years ago, and there is a Quaker school close to the reserve. The housing there is more spacious and larger, with big houses set back in the woods. Eventually, it seems like it would be a nice place to live. There are also a few cafes, a couple art galleries and a store called Whole Foods haha. Most things in Monteverde are in English and the Whole Foods even sells things like almond butter and kombucha home-made by what I presume are gringo farmers. This, along with a whole bunch of other things, makes it clear that CR is definitely not Nicaragua! So far, I like both countries but CR seems a bit more stable politically, and it’s kind of a relief to be able to drink the water, which comes directly from mountain springs here. It’s been quite the contrast to being in the public hospital for eating a salad in León my first night last year. I love Nica despite the challenges I faced, but this place is pretty lovely. 

Below Cerro Plano, there is the Tico town of Santa Elena, which has supermarkets, hostels, the farmer’s market on saturdays, banks, restaurants, etc. I like being close by since it is so convenient. Everything here seems to be built on hills so I’m always walking up or down...like a mini-San Francisco. Below all that is another neighborhood called Cementario, but I don’t think I want to live there since it’s kind of far to one end and at the bottom of the hills- everything would be an uphill struggle!

Thursday night I was invited to 2 teachers’ shared house in Monteverde where a group of teachers had dinner and we played cornhole and Cranium. There was a thunderstorm going on at the same time and it was nice to see the lightning. Overall, it’s been really nice to kind of get back to a more simple life and not depend so much on technology for entertainment. It’s still nice to have internet access, but I’ve forgotten what it feels like to just hang out without technological distractions. A small percentage of people have smart phones (though I have noticed quite a few Ticos with IPhones) and if they do, their internet is not usually turned on because it eats away at $$, so there is no reason to constantly be checking your phone. 

Friday there was an end of the year party for school staff at a nice hotel in town called Poco a Poco. We had a big buffet lunch and used the pool and jacuzzi.  

Saturday there were a few flea markets going on hosted by teachers at my school and the Quaker school which they call Cachivache in Spanish. This was great timing for me since I needed some household items.  

Although I miss friends and family, I feel really relaxed and happy to be this unique, friendly community. Hope everyone is doing well!

Tico time

Hi friends! I decided to make the blog I keep private (or more accurately, only share with people I think will want to read it...for now). Photos I take are still public though on my other blog (http://wildviewwest.blogspot.com). Maybe it's too many blogs (gasp!), but I'm going with it.

I just arrived in Costa Rica today after a long overnight flight that stopped Florida. I felt very lucky to have a wonderful send-off at a family friends' house in Brentwood, California. My parents and my aunt and cousin were also there and it felt really touching and wonderful. Leaving Berkeley the week before last was also very difficult, and I miss my old roommate Allyson (who I've known since preschool), every day....along with a lovely network of friends. I had a small goodbye fiesta there too, and I am very grateful for all the kind thoughts and well wishes.

My fear about living out of the country has always been that I may lose contact with friends and family, or that relationships will somehow end, but I think I'm starting to learn that I have some power in avoiding that. It's a nice feeling and makes me feel better about being here. I've already spoken with my dad (who is prostate cancer free- go dad!!), and skyped with a good friend in Nicaragua. I was having terrible anxiety just about the unknown and my life decisions being different than friends/family, but I'm doing better now that I'm here. Even though I've moved 14 times since I graduated from high school 11 years ago, that anxiety never goes away.

Tomorrow is my first day of official work at school and my 29th birthday. I'm feeling a wee bit old to be single sometimes, but I'm also happy with the choices I've made and I really don't feel like finding someone can be forced. It does get kind of awkward sometimes. Two couples came to pick me up from the airport today, and my landlady Vicky already asked me if I have a family/kids/am married. It didn't take long! I got some pity that I didn't- I'm sure she thinks it's somewhat strange. The second question she asked was if I'm Catholic; (note: not "Are you religious?"). Both were pretty amusing and to be expected. I have been thinking that this may be the loneliest birthday of my 29 years, but I'm going to go into it with no expectations, just grateful to be having a new experience.

On a side note, I'm living alone for the first time ever. My coworker Kathia found me a cabana (cabin), in Monteverde, that is part of Vicky's family property. I'm not sure if I'll be able to stay here because it's a 2 bedroom and the other woman who was supposed to live here had to turn down the job to work at the school because of a bad accident. I hope wherever she is, she's ok! Right now, it's looking like I'll be here for the next 3 months (paying half rent). If it doesn't work out here, big V (that's what I'm calling her in my head), has other 1 bedroom apartments on this same piece of property right across from the cabin. I do hope I can stay here though. It's super cute! I am on the 2nd floor and it's all hard wood floors and wood everything. There's a corner couch and a small kitchen, my bedroom, and a bathroom. Big V's dog Tonka likes to sit on the porch outside, and I've already spotted a puppy at her house. Her son and his 2 younger kids live here as well, so it's nice to at least be nearby people and be speaking Spanish all the time. The house has quirks like the faucet handle tends to fall off, and I haven't figured out how to use the propane stove (I need a guide for that). The shower sort of has warm water after a while. There's also a problem with the front door- which is a sliding door. The lock isn't really working and big V says no one really locks their houses here, but hopefully she's fixing it tomorrow. I told her I was robbed in Nicaragua and so I would like to have a door that locks and she went: "Oh....Nicaragua!" haha. I do miss friends in Nicaragua, but hopefully I'll be able to visit at some point and start meeting people here.

This wasn't a very exciting blogpost, but I just wanted to quickly send out an update and say thanks for the support! I'll leave you with a photo of mi casita:

It’s not you, it’s my stomach ™

A lot of my days lately have been filled with chasing the sun, craving sugar and taking care of sicklings. Chasing the sun because it’s the rainy season, and it has been especially rainy this year in Nicaragua….most likely related to the hurricane that was just in Mexico. We are washing all our laundry by hand, and there’s so much moisture in the air that things mold incredibly fast. I have 3 bras with me for 3 months, and I’m sorry to say, one has succumbed to the mold. I’ve tried soaking it in bleach, and leaving it in the sun to kill the bacteria, but the mold still be livin’! I’ll probably still wear it and hope against any kind of weird side effect other than gross out. That being said, there is at least some sun every day, though it’s strongest in the morning. There’s always some kind of monsoon, usually in the afternoon. I’ve also been walking up the mountain that aligns with the larger town down in the valley to make the occasional phone call or slowly use the internet.

Because I have gastritis, which is the precursor to an ulcer, my diet has been a lot more limited and I hope cleaner. No coffee (which is sad because it’s so good and organic here), no milk (i can't digest it, though cheese doesn’t seem to bother me), and already no gluten. Most of our meals are vegetarian or vegan, depending on what the community has to offer. The eggs we eat come from the chickens in town, along with the beans, cheese, coffee and corn for the tortillas. This is usually all accompanied by a fruit batido (smoothie). The woman who does most of the cooking in the house told me she prefers to be poor in the country, because you can still live independently and not have to rely on buying everything in the city.

The man in my host family works at a cooperative located in the larger town, where the grow sesame and process their own sesame oil. So we’ve also had tahini, honey, and sesame oil from town. Today, we visited the cooperative, and also bought wine made from hibiscus flowers (though I’ve been avoiding alcohol and drinking lots of water and tea), and sesame sweets that have sugar, milk (cooked) and cinnamon. They are deliciosos! Sesame oil is the 2^nd healthiest oil for you, behind olive oil. The cooperative also sells their sesame to The Body Shop and L’Oreal for a fair trade price, which makes me think a lot more highly of those companies. The coffee in the community is sold to a small company called Dean’s Beans in the US, which has chosen to not take part in Fair Trade USA, because the CEO of FTUSA has significantly lowered the standards to become fair trade certified out of preference for increased company growth. FTUSA has also parted ways with Fair Trade International, and certify companies as “fair trade” that are as little as 2% fair trade based.

In terms of animals, living in such close proximity to cows has made me realize how beautiful they are, and I’m less and less inclined to eat red meat. Most people buy meat from the larger town on Wednesdays when a man comes up to sell it, and inevitably all the dogs eat the scraps and fart all day. That’s how you know for sure it’s meat day. I’m also pretty turned off by pork ever since a student got sick and I saw a pig eat the puke. They literally will eat anything, which I guess is good because there’s so much crap in the world. We had chicken today in the town and I swallowed a bone, and ate a banana to “wrap around” the bone traveling down my gut. There are 2 orphaned chickens in our house also because our cat killed the mama.

I’m probably focusing on food because lately I’ve felt a bit lonely and isolated, but I think that there is always something to be learned from every experience, and it’s been a learning experience for sure living a more rural lifestyle. I miss family and friends, but I love speaking Spanish, having time to read (and an actual legit bilingual community library, which is the best I’ve seen in country). I also feel like I’ve learned a lot from how much people value family relationships. It’s very touching to watch the family I’ve been staying with help their son with his homework each night. This is all the more special since the host father in charge of the cooperative learned to read thanks to volunteers from Cuba who came into rural areas after the Sandinista revolution. Education is really highly valued here, and the US government has a lot to learn...especially now. Amor a todos!

Mushrooms and rainstorms

It’s preparing to be a stormy afternoon at El Lagartillo, a small rural community of 27 families about 1.5 hours outside of Esteli. There is a kitten playing with a mama cat (otherwise known as Bambi), next to a little girl (Catarina) playing cards with her mom. The houses here are made of brick and surrounded by small jungles of green, banana trees, birds of paradise and bright pink bougainvillea. Almost everyone has chickens, dogs, cats, and if there is money or need for it, a cow or a horse. The chickens and dogs roam freely during the day, but always come back to their home at night. When it rains, the dirt paths flood into small rivers, and it becomes almost too loud to talk.

Back in December 1984 (while my mom was pregnant with me), this peaceful community was attacked by 200 Contra soldiers with arms directly provided by the US government. The community itself had only 14 weapons, and 2 young boys (both 14 years old) and 4 adults stayed behind to protect the rest of the families while the fled into hiding. Although this happened nearly 30 years ago, it is still very fresh in people’s minds, and they describe it as a wound that never fully heals. Only yesterday, I charged my phone in an elderly woman's house whose daughter and husband were killed in this attack. It’s strange to think about this community being deemed a threat, when people here are farmers, and at that time there wasn’t even electricity. Today, you have to climb a small hill called El Punto to get cell phone service or connect to the internet with a usb stick. One of the Spanish teachers for foreigners visiting the community told our group yesterday how heartbroken she was when a former student a few years ago said their favorite US president was Ronald Reagan, who signed off on so much conflict and death.

Despite this history, the community is incredibly warm and welcoming. There is a great bilingual library, movie nights, dance parties and a smoothie stand. During the 3 day backpacking trip to the community, we stopped over at a place called Finca Calamina, where a man named Esteban whose married to a french woman, lives in the mountains and grows coffee. His coffee is wild, so he doesn't need to maintain it; just collect it. We also collected chantrelle mushrooms along the way and he made us really amazing pizza in his clay, wood burning oven (mine was on a tortilla). 

It's been a little bit challenging to be so isolated. When it downpours, there is no way to get to El Punto and everything is always a little bit damp, in general. Drying clothes is a true challenge. A virus also ran through the group, which I got too...but mostly in the form of painful gastritis. Apparently, taking lots of antibiotics and anti-parasitics, which I have during my time here, can really tear your gut apart. I'm in Esteli now because it was painful to eat (caused by the gastritis), and also discovered I'm anemic (which can be related to gastritis too). So now I'm taking a little cocktail of pills to help me digest things and B12 vitamins, and it's amazing how much it all helps. We have a few more weeks in this community then on to San Marcos, south of the capital, to meet with a group that helps youth get out of the largest dump in Central America (La Chureca). Looking forward to being in the same country as you all in December and missing you of course!

Love & Other Drugs

Well folks here I am again, back in Nicaragua after a whopping 72 hours at home in those United States. It was a glorious return. Huzzah! Except….. I had an incredibly painful migraine, and had my first experience visiting the ER with no insurance. Yes, they wanted to charge me exactly $500 just for this 20 minute visit, which will also be accompanied by a separate bill from the doctor. I gave them $100, because that is outrageous and will figure out the rest later. In Nicaragua, there is no medicine like imatrex (at least that I’ve found), but at least I can see a doctor for free if needed! Yikes. Thankfully, the doctor was really wonderful and found me the cheapest/most effective medicine to treat migraines. There’s a man after my own heart. It was really wonderful to see my parents and be back in California, visit a giant book store, and eat pesto. Still, I missed seeing friends, the time was so short, and this question of finding balance is definitely looming in my head.

That brings us to the present. Today is September 7, 2013. I am in a cabin in the woods in northern Nicaragua and it is pouring down rain on the green tin roof. One of my favorite people in the whole big mundo was married today. She is now an honest woman as they said in the old west. I think they did, at least. Naturally, this has got me thinking a lot about relationships and togetherness. Although I’m so thankful for a job, and to be exploring the world, there is a certain level of pain in missing out on these significant life moments in the lives of friends and family. That’s really just what it is: painful. Luckily, this said friend and others have been very understanding and kind and have said such sweet things as 1 day does not equal 1 friendship, BUT, I still feel bad and just sad to be left out of something that is so worthy of a celebration.

Unfortunately, the relationship I’ve been in here in Nicaragua has ended after a lot of ups and downs, and that, too….is just sad. I definitely loved this person and still love this person, but unfortunately, sometimes that’s not enough, as cliché as it may sound. And man is it depressing. Let me tell you when they say love conquers all… make sure you ask a lot of questions. It’s a bit more complicated than that. For example, as I have recently found, you might fully love someone (not by choice but just by fate or by circumstance depending on your view) and start picturing a life with them, mostly because they are picturing it too, and mention things like wanting to marry you, or have a baby with you, and it turns out to all be crap. Craptacular! Boo. Of course, I’m using humor to mask my sadness, and there are certainly worse lots in life, but it still feels like nurturing a sweet puppy all day and then having it vomit and poop in your room seemingly on purpose (I mean the hallway is just outside).

I don’t really know where I’m going with this, but basically, in spite of recent heart break, I’ve realized that in the midst of traveling, instead of denouncing love and it’s importance, I feel more than ever that relationships, friendships….all the ships, really… are the most important thing worth nurturing in life.  And while it is truly miserable when it doesn’t work out, I’m glad that I at least opened myself up to the possibility of love, even if it means having to watch it slip away. So to everyone seeing this out there, I wish you a lot of love, and the courage to take the risk to go find it, even if it’s finding a love and appreciation for yourself for the first time. Stay tuned.  

Nica update: work and more work

Hello all. Apologies I've been bad about writing. Things have been so busy with work that when I have free time I mostly sleep! Unfortunately I also picked up a nasty bacteria, so I was in the clinic for hours today and just started antibiotics. At first the doc was worried I had appendicitis, and all that I could think of was that I'd have to stay abroad for the operation because medical treatment is so expensive in the U.S..

Sometimes, just when I start feeling comfortable here, I'm reminded of how different it is. The other day while I was in Managua, the only close place to eat was this fast food chicken restaurant. I don't like eating meat like that, from places where animals are basically manufactured, but there was no other choice and unfortunately my food allergies ruled out other alternatives. Anyways, this place was bumpin', and there was a man preaching with a whole audience. I felt so out of place and entertained by something that seemed common place.

I wrote a whole other post that got erased, about socialism here and how different it feels from Cuba. There have been all these protests going on here because of the reduction in pensions, and to me, socialism should prioritize social programs, not limit them. Cuba definitely has a lot of struggles from limited salaries, but not once in Havana did I see someone begging on the street or hear about people living out of a dump. Francisa, one of the community leaders at the dump, told me that the government makes promises every year around election time to improve people's lives, and they never follow through.

Thank God for moments of happiness and generosity, because without these it would just be too sad to think about all the unjust living conditions in the world.

Anyways...other than this, I'm just keeping on keeping on. Like a lot of people, I'm trying to figure out my next steps along the way. 

To end on funnier notes, the other week I took a bucket shower in the patio with a country crock butter bucket. I heated the water on the stove so it felt real fancy. The other thing was that I went to a restaurant that sold anti diarrheal meds and alka seltzer. Pretty smart thinkin'!

  

The rainy season is going on', so now it's time to fall asleep to the rain.

Take care todos!

Snapshots of Esteli

    A glance at how my name is spelled:

    Hammock in the house:

    Mountains to the south:

    Chicken exploring a house on a farm:

    Painting a school library: